


Live For You (Easy To Say)

by troubledsouls



Series: The Alien And The Flower [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Smut sorta happens at least it's the beginning of it I didn't wanna write it in class blehh, Tyler and Josh have a lot of stuff in their heads, jumpy narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 05:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5654650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was wedged into a corner of the dressing room he shared with Tyler, quietly stimming to make sure he was calm before going back into public. <br/>---<br/>sometimes Tyler would get so clingy and scared that everyone would leave him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live For You (Easy To Say)

Josh was currently right in the middle of a panic attack. 

The stage had gone completely dark, and Tyler was talking to the crowd, but the lights hadn't come up yet. Was this planned? Tyler hadn't told him if it was. 

It was dark, pitch black, and Josh hated the dark, hated everything it dragged along with it and his breathing had spiraled out of control and-

The lights slowly came up to reveal Tyler at the piano and Josh hunched over in his seat, arms wrapped across his stomach, bare chest rising and falling so quickly, too quickly.

It took a single glance from Tyler over at Josh's wide-eyed, open-mouthed face for him to jump up and sprint across the stage to the drummer’s side. 

“Josh, Josh, hey, come on, you're okay, alright? You gotta breathe.” Tyler tried to take one of Josh's hands but Josh only tighten his arms and began to violently shake his head.

“Okay, okay, can you breathe with me?” Tyler kept his voice soft, moving so that he was in front of Josh. 

Josh couldn't breathe, didn't want to breathe, maybe he'd pass out but passing out would be bad he would be out of control-

“Josh.” Tyler tilted Josh's head up so that their eyes met, although Josh’s were out of focus. “Let me take your hand, come on, you gotta feel my breathing to be able to match it.”

Josh nodded once, shortly, and Tyler took his left hand and placed it on his own chest, rubbing circles into the back with his thumb. “Come on, in for seven, out for ten, can you breathe with me?”

Josh's breathing began to slow over a period of a few minutes. Tyler could feel the crowd’s restlessness, could hear their shouts of worry. 

“Hey.” Tyler said with a smile as soon as Josh’s eyes went back into focus and his breath was even. 

“It was dark.” Josh said quietly. 

“I'm sorry, I should've told the light guys to not keep them off for that long.” Tyler released Josh's hand. “You okay? Do you wanna stop the show? We're almost done, it won't hurt too much.”

“No, but… I don't wanna go meet fans.” Josh looked away from Tyler. 

“That's okay.” Tyler gently kissed him on the cheek and several people in the audience screamed. 

Josh smiled and Tyler stepped down and went back to his piano. 

“We're all okay here, guys, no need to worry. We're gonna go on with this show.”

* * *

Josh ran his fingers over his snapback, tracing his fingers over the edges and rubbing the brim between his thumb and index finger. He was wedged into a corner of the dressing room he shared with Tyler, quietly stimming to make sure he was calm before going back into public. 

Tyler sat next to him. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Josh replied in a quiet voice. 

“I'm really sorry, it just wasn't on my mind.”

“It's okay.”

One hand let go of the hat to trace across the palms of Tyler's hands.

* * *

Tyler was the one said to have a notebook full of messily written words, but that wasn't true. His notebook was neat and orderly, it was the notes on his phone that were messy and disorganized, fragments of words that would never see a recording studio. 

Josh was the one with the messy, almost full notebook. 

The two friends liked to joke that their combined mental illnesses could form a band, from their shared depression and anxiety to Tyler's BPD and DID to Josh's Aspergers and social anxiety. Joking helped them deal with how jumbled their brains were. 

Sometimes Josh would go nonverbal for a day and sometimes Tyler and Emma would have screaming matches that left his voice hoarse for the next show, sometimes Josh would have anxiety attacks before going onstage and sometimes Tyler would get so clingy and scared that everyone would leave him, sometimes Josh and Tyler curled up together under blankets on bad days. Not everything was pretty. 

Jenna had left Tyler a few weeks ago, unable to handle not knowing who Tyler was going to be at every given minute. She loved Tyler, not the anxious Blurryface that always questioned things and dug razors into Tyler's skin, not the cruel Emma whose biting words made Tyler and her fight constantly, and not the violent Patrick who had to be kept contained almost all the time. Tyler had practically fallen apart after she left, going to Josh's house and making sure that Josh wouldn't leave him, they were going on tour so soon Josh couldn't leave, please don't leave. 

Josh had difficulty with relationships, but he could handle being left. It was always the person he was dating who broke up with him anyways, so he guessed it was always his fault. 

They both thought it was their faults whenever people broke away.

* * *

“Mm, you're beautiful.” Tyler said, running his lips over Josh's neck before sucking a mark. 

Josh moaned quietly, feeling the weight of Tyler's body on top of him, lips against his neck, so good…

“Absolutely beautiful.” Tyler repeated, mouth moving to bite at a spot below Josh's ear. 

“Tyler, I-I’ve never…” Josh stuttered out. 

“I know, baby. You don't have to do anything.” Tyler ghosted his lips along Josh's jaw. “I'll ride you, make you feel good, okay?”

Josh nodded.

Tyler pulled off Josh's shirt and ran his hands down Josh's sides. “So beautiful, Joshie. Can you be loud for me?”

Josh was.

* * *

They lay together in their bunks, waiting for the rest of the people they toured with to return. Their bodies were close, Tyler’s perfectly fitting with Josh's own. 

Tyler was asleep, exhales rushing air along the back of Josh's neck, arms wrapped loosely around Josh. 

Josh would not trade Tyler for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> A bunch of linked stories? Hell yes


End file.
